Sunday, 28 April 2013

Do I have a Disease ?

After living through nearly twenty years of heroin or heroin substitute addiction I've been fortunate enough not to have contracted any diseases such as hepatitis, HIV, or any other diseases associated with long term drug addiction, however there is a line of thought that claims addiction itself is a disease. A couple of years ago shortly after I started this blog I wrote a post supporting this claim and more recently I've made comments to the same effect. But even more recently as my problems with addiction have been gradually declining I've been able to consider the question with a clearer head and understanding.

I think that to some extent blaming my addiction on a disease (that some go as far as to say is incurable) took away my responsibility and provided me with an excuse for further use. This is probably why I went along with it.

 Addiction can be extremely destructive, it can ruin lives, tear apart families and even disrupt communities, in this respect it is very much like a disease.

Whilst researching this subject I came across an article which sums things up rather nicely,

Why Addiction is NOT a Brain Disease

Saturday, 13 April 2013

Life is an ever flowing river.......

Rest In Peace  Ronald Mannings.  10th April 1916-19th March 2013
Pop, Father, Grand Father, Great Grand Father, Great Great Grand Father.
My Grand Father.
One of the few survivors of the chindit campaign, Burma WWII .

My daughters & I

It's been a long winter but eventually things are beginning to turn around. Next week I've got a start on a job, it's only a small one but I've hopefully got a few more lined up after it.  Though after 4yrs of being self employed I've learnt never to rely on a job until you're actually there working it.  For a week at least I wont be claiming state benefits, I just hope the weather behaves itself because all the work I've got lined up is outside.

I haven't had any contact with my drug workers since late last year, I've practically given up on them so I've been reducing my methadone under my own volition and am now down to 30mls. My aim is to be off of it by the end of July because I'm off to Switzerland for a couple of weeks for work/holiday. But nothing is written in stone as far as medication is concerned. I've been on methadone/subutex for a decade and a half, so I'm not expecting miracles I'm just trying to maintain a positive attitude.

Ding Dong the witch is - I'm sure you know the rest !

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Follow the light

What a beautiful spring morning !
I'm decorating my bedroom today, cleared it out yesterday and I'm all set to go. The flat's turned into a bit of a disaster area over the winter. I was living on the couch through the cold months whilst my bedroom turned into a walk in wardrobe and general storage space. I started sleeping in the spare bedroom about two weeks ago but now I'd like my bedroom back.

This is such a great song and video. It reinforces my belief that not all enabling is wrong. I'd go out and buy the heroin myself if it stopped any daughter of mine from having to enter the kind of life depicted in the video.