Thursday, 19 March 2015

Summer is just around the corner

Well I'm not going to be disappointed to see this Winter over and done with. Since Christmas I've had about a weeks work,beans on toast and tins of soup have been my main diet for what seems like months and months. As usual a long period of no work has been followed by more work than I've got time for.At the beginning of March I took on a four week job that we have to do in three, hopefully it will be finished next week and that long awaited payday will finally be here. To be fair being skint has meant there has been no money for drugs and what little money I have had I haven't been able to justify spending on drugs, not that spending money on drugs is really justifiable in the first place. I'm still stable on 40mls of methadone and have been for some time now so it really is time to think about making a reduction some time soon, problem is the thought of reducing scares me somewhat ! I've got down to practically nothing so many times, a few times down to nothing at all, but regular as clockwork that's when things tend to go pear shaped and I have to go cap in hand to the clinic, admit defeat and start over. Truth is I mess up regularly but I have the meth as a safety net which stops my life turning into chaos from having to score everyday. It would be so easy to stay on the methadone indefinitely, it makes my life so much more manageable but that's not an option because I'm getting too old for this game. I turned 46 last birthday, I know I say it every year but something has got to give before long, I need to give up while it's still an option and I can still do it on my own terms.

At the end of the month I'll be back down the harbour doing the job I enjoy for the Easter break, I'm looking forward to it. What is this Summer going to bring I wonder ?

RIP Daevid Allen