Sunday, 31 July 2016

The grass is always greener.

To say the last few weeks have been messy would be a bit of an understatement.. Once again I jumped head first into the circle of destruction. I was going through a relatively good patch, moving in a good direction, The gear was of extremely poor quality and taking it was fast becoming a waste of time, then when I'd decided enough was enough there was a total turn around, the gear became gear again,  What perfect timing for that last binge.
Last year I walked away from my job on the harbour leaving it in the hands of someone I'd trained up and was easily capable of it. Just before the summer holidays I get a call, they were practically begging me to come back with much better terms thrown into the bargain. Now I didn't really need the work but I loved that job and I was sorely missing it. I handed in my notice promising to finish the job I was on and was looking forward to putting down the brushes for the Summer.
 About this I was walking home from my parents house and in the middle of the road was a pair of trainers, at first I walked past but then I thought I can't leave them there littering up the street, I'll put them on the bin at the bottom of the road, in the end they ended up on my balcony waiting for someone who could fit into them because they weren't in that bad a condition. Two days later a mate phones me and tells me I'd better have a look at Face book 'Gossip around '.....combe.' I could not believe my eyes there's only two pictures of me walking down the street with a pair of red trainers under my am with a caption saying "Does anyone recognise this man stealing my boyfriends trainers"  Of course I was recognised and named But once I'd explained and received an apology leading the post to be promptly taken down the damage had been done,
 So I started down at the harbour a bit half heartily because of the way they'd sacked the guy I'd left there. Being in the middle of a goodbye binge didn't help,   nipping into the pub for a swifty was probably my not one of my better ideas, a large dose of " What the hell am I doing here", and bad weather , which meant I wasn't earning any money was bad enough. Three days into the job I got some pay owed to me from the painting work £240.00 put it in my pocket and five minutes later it was gone, never to be seen again, somebody stole my shorts as well that day, this job was costing me money. Anyway  things started to pick up, the weather improved and the book was filling up with bookings but the biggest thing was people were catching fish, the mackerel were running. I decided to put my heart and soul into the job, I'd been on the waggon for two days,We'd had a great day   made loads of money filled the book for the next couple of days and at the end of a bumper day I got the sack The ball had been put in motion a few days earlier. It was all down to one man who is twisted but I'm not going to dwell on it. I left with my head held high, If we don't make mistakes we don't learn. And I'm sure 'everything happens for a reason'.
 Luckily I got straight back into work, starting tomorrow. The last few days I've been working on my flat and fondly saying goodbye to heroin one last time.
 Gotta keep trying and keep smiling.  xx

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Got to Dash

This is just a quickie before I set off to work.
I'm back working down the harbour even though I said I wouldn't. I suppose I just love the job.
I've thrown out all my injecting kit, but I am smoking gear.
I'm off the booze again.
My love goes out to anyone who reads and also those that don't.